don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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