he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize