Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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