weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I want is dick and wine.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize