Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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