why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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