the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
