Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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