Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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