I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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