don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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