I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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