I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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