remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
