But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
