Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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