Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
