Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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