Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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