I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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