We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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