theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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