i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
