i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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