yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He had one of those small greek statue penises
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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