This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
my poor anus
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I want a musical about memes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
