my vag is so smooth its legendary
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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