the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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