i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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