i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
