just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
