So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
