Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize