If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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