we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize