I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This baby is an asshole
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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