you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
