For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
