What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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