you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
