I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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