Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
