Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
