DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
