are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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