I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
