I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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