it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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