I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize