Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
