Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
