is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
