jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
