You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i drank out of a bidet.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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