just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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