Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
