Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
