I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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