If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
