So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
