Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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