I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize