My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
