He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
