so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
