even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
