Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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