Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
