No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I love you.
Bad choice
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
