There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
whose parrot is this?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
