Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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