i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
