you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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