Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize